Sometimes I get nervous that politeness is a dying art.
This makes me sad.
But sometimes I am guilty of this myself. So what to do? I am going to make a focused effort to flex my polite muscle on a more regular basis, and (maybe not so politely) force others to do the same :)
Issue #1: A lot of people our age seem to have a bad case of the "Maybes." Now, I have nothing against people saying maybe. Let's say I walk up to you and ask if you want to go grab dinner on Friday. You say, "Maybe, let me check with my husband and make sure we don't have anything else going on that day." Awesome. Totally acceptable. Figure it out and let me know.
The problem is not schedule checking. It's people giving a half-commitment so they can wait and see if something better comes along. "Yeah, maybe I'll come to your birthday dinner," but then you get invited to a movie and feel like doing that instead. Maybes leave people either counting on you or wondering if you are going to flake, and they add stress to what is usually already a stressful situation. If I'm planning a party or a trip, I need to know how many people are going to be there so I can PLAN. How much food to buy, how many people to make a reservation for, important stuff like that. Your maybe throws off everything for me.
Gah! I am guilty of this myself! I've maybe-ed many an event where I decide at the last minute... that I'm too TIRED to go!! I can't believe how rude I feel just admitting that. I lead people on and then bail on them to watch Law & Order SVU marathons!! Bad form. Which is why I am going to try my hardest to change.
From now on, if I am invited to something and I'm not sure if I want to go, I am going to force myself to decide. So the other people involved can plan accordingly, and so I don't feel tempted to bail out at the last minute (because I never
really said that I was going, right? And I
am tired...) No more of that. Polite initiative #1. Starts today - watch out.
