Pamela's Birthday 2022

The family at Grimaldi's (2016)

Today is Pamela's birthday.  The kids and I carried on our tradition of having Grimaldi's pizza and warm chocolate chip cookies in Pamela's honor.  At some point in the future this tradition may change or evolve, but for now, it suits our family well.  On a day filled with complex emotions, it's nice to have an easy and delicious dinner, followed by watching our favorite home videos of Pamela, while eating cookies.  It helps us lean into the celebration side of this day, appreciate our family, and remember the wonderful person Pamela was.  

Pamela's Birthday 2021

Pamela & Ryan - 2015

Today is Pamela's birthday.  Again we found ourselves enjoying pizza, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, and re-watching some of our favorite videos of Pamela to remember her.  This year, Ryan wanted to make a special trip to the store and get some flowers for Pamela that he thought she would like.  Ryan and Pamela had such a beautiful connection and I can see a lot of who she was continuing on through him.  A lot of the sweet, kind, smart, funny, and thoughtful kid he is today is because of her personality and the love she gave to him while she was with us.  Being around Ryan gives us all another way to remember Pamela, and his thoughtful gift of flowers gives him and our family another way to think of her today and the weeks to come.  

Pamela & Ryan - 2013

Pamela & Ryan - 2014

Pamela & Ryan - 2015

Pizza & Cookies - 2021

Flowers for Pamela

"Happy Birthday Mom"

Pamela's Birthday

Pamela's Birthday 3/8/2016 - Getting Pizza at Grimaldi's

Today is Pamela's birthday.  This is the fourth birthday we have celebrated without her and a tradition is starting to emerge.  We again decided to have pizza for dinner, which is still one of the family favorites.  For dessert we had warm chocolate chip cookies and watched some videos of Pamela with the kids.  The cookies are always a winner and the kids again really enjoyed seeing themselves as babies and interacting with their lovely mama.

Pizza is a Family Favorite, Even on Vacation (S.F. - Nov. 2013)

Pizza was One of Audrey's First Solid Foods (Feb. 2016)

10 Year Anniversary

October 3, 2019 would have been 10 years since Pamela and I were married.  That was one of the happiest days of our lives.  We were very fortunate to find each other and be able to come together and celebrate our partnership and union.  It was also wonderful to be able to celebrate it with many of our friends and family.  I know Pamela enjoyed all the planning and organizing almost as much as the actual ceremony and celebration itself.

I went back through the pictures from our wedding and wanted to share some of my favorite, non-staged pictures.  The posed pictures are fantastic but the great thing about the candid shots is they show more of a person's personality.  These pictures show the happy, funny, sweet, and silly Pamela we all remember and miss.

Pamela's Birthday

Pamela would have been 34 today. 
Even though she is not here with us, we decided we would celebrate in a way she would have enjoyed.  We went out to dinner at Pamela's favorite pizza place, Grimaldi's.  Then we came home and had fresh baked warm chocolate chip cookies for desert.  It sort of felt like the kind of weekday birthday celebration she would have picked.  Before bed I played some videos of Pamela and the kids that they hadn't seen in a while.  They both got a kick out of seeing themselves as babies and of course liked seeing their wonderful mom. 

Remembering Pamela

There are many ways to remember someone who has died. 

• Keep pictures of them up, so you can see them often.  
• Talk about them and share stories about them.    
• Go to places you went with them and do activities they liked to do.
• Volunteer or donate to a cause or charity they loved.  
• Sing a song you sang together or enjoyed listening to.
• Dedicate things or events to them or name them in their honor.  
• Try to be happy and grateful for the opportunities and events in your own life.  

Plus probably a thousand other ways and variations of these that I didn't mention.  The important part is doing whatever works and makes sense for you and for how you are feeling at the time.  I have done a lot and have tried many with the kids.  

This fall we planted memorial trees for Pamela.  We had one planted in each of the two parks near our house that Pamela liked going to with the kids, Hanger Park (Tempe) and Pine Shadows Park (Chandler).  Each city is different with their memorial tree program, but most at least offer some way to do it and let you pick the park.  In Chandler they can put a bronze plaque with the tree.  In Tempe they will let you participate in the planting.  In Scottsdale they will provide you with a certificate.  I know this last one because earlier in the year General Mills had a tree planted for Pamela at Scottsdale Ranch Park where they host the annual HopeKids picnic.  General Mills also renamed the event "Pamela's Picnic for Hope," which was extremely thoughtful and another wonderful way to remember Pamela.  

The kids enjoyed helping plant the tree, but probably had more fun just playing at the park afterwards :)  Still, it was a nice activity and great way to remember Pamela.  Every time we go to these parks we can look for Pamela's tree and the kids have another way to remember their mom.

Helping plant the tree at Hanger Park

Tree with a bronze plaque at Pine Shadows

10/3/2018

This October 3rd would have been our 9th wedding anniversary.

Most of our friends and family know that we liked to take a fun vacation to celebrate our anniversary each year.  Sometimes it was hard to find the time to take a trip, especially after we started our family.  Our lives seemed to be so busy that it was much harder to make the plans and schedule the getaway.  I'm so glad we did continue the tradition though.  Life is always busy and there will always be competing obligations but taking trips and spending time with the ones you love has to always take precedence.

The sayings and cliches about living for today and how tomorrow is never guaranteed seem overused and irrelevant until it becomes reality.

Our lives are precious and short, sometimes far too short.  It's important to realize that and take opportunities when they come up.  We should spend time with the ones we love, take those vacations, and make the people we love and care about our first priority.  The sayings are true, we don't regret the times we spent together, only that we wish we could have had more of them.  I am so grateful to have had some amazing ones with Pamela.

Maui - 2014

Maui - 2014