Remembering Pamela

There are many ways to remember someone who has died. 

• Keep pictures of them up, so you can see them often.  
• Talk about them and share stories about them.    
• Go to places you went with them and do activities they liked to do.
• Volunteer or donate to a cause or charity they loved.  
• Sing a song you sang together or enjoyed listening to.
• Dedicate things or events to them or name them in their honor.  
• Try to be happy and grateful for the opportunities and events in your own life.  

Plus probably a thousand other ways and variations of these that I didn't mention.  The important part is doing whatever works and makes sense for you and for how you are feeling at the time.  I have done a lot and have tried many with the kids.  

This fall we planted memorial trees for Pamela.  We had one planted in each of the two parks near our house that Pamela liked going to with the kids, Hanger Park (Tempe) and Pine Shadows Park (Chandler).  Each city is different with their memorial tree program, but most at least offer some way to do it and let you pick the park.  In Chandler they can put a bronze plaque with the tree.  In Tempe they will let you participate in the planting.  In Scottsdale they will provide you with a certificate.  I know this last one because earlier in the year General Mills had a tree planted for Pamela at Scottsdale Ranch Park where they host the annual HopeKids picnic.  General Mills also renamed the event "Pamela's Picnic for Hope," which was extremely thoughtful and another wonderful way to remember Pamela.  

The kids enjoyed helping plant the tree, but probably had more fun just playing at the park afterwards :)  Still, it was a nice activity and great way to remember Pamela.  Every time we go to these parks we can look for Pamela's tree and the kids have another way to remember their mom.

Helping plant the tree at Hanger Park

Tree with a bronze plaque at Pine Shadows

10/3/2018

This October 3rd would have been our 9th wedding anniversary.

Most of our friends and family know that we liked to take a fun vacation to celebrate our anniversary each year.  Sometimes it was hard to find the time to take a trip, especially after we started our family.  Our lives seemed to be so busy that it was much harder to make the plans and schedule the getaway.  I'm so glad we did continue the tradition though.  Life is always busy and there will always be competing obligations but taking trips and spending time with the ones you love has to always take precedence.

The sayings and cliches about living for today and how tomorrow is never guaranteed seem overused and irrelevant until it becomes reality.

Our lives are precious and short, sometimes far too short.  It's important to realize that and take opportunities when they come up.  We should spend time with the ones we love, take those vacations, and make the people we love and care about our first priority.  The sayings are true, we don't regret the times we spent together, only that we wish we could have had more of them.  I am so grateful to have had some amazing ones with Pamela.

Maui - 2014

Maui - 2014

Pamela's 33rd Birthday

Pamela would have turned 33 today.  It's weird how the accident seems both very recent and a long time ago.  I suppose it depends on the day and the context.  I still recall vivid details about Pamela and our life together like she was here yesterday.  It doesn't seem that long ago that she was with us and we were enjoying our family time together.  But some days, as I adjust to our new routine, it seems like a long time has passed since Pamela has been a part of it and so much has changed.

Although it is impossible to make up for the loss of Pamela, our friends and family have helped out tremendously.  I want to thank all the friends who have come over to play with the kids so they know it's okay to have fun.  Thank you to everyone who has helped me watch the kids and babysit so I can step back and recharge or have a moment to myself.  I know Pamela would be happy knowing that so many people have come forward to do what they can to support me and the kids.

I think it's important to step back and reflect every so often.  It would be nice if everyone would take a moment and reflect on the fact of how precious and fragile life can be.  We should appreciate those around us and be grateful for all that we have.  We are fortunate to be alive, and to have everything else we take for granted.  Thinking of what can happen or has happened in our lives puts things into a new perspective.  We should prioritize the important things, tell people that we love them, spend time with those we care about, and do what we love.  In honor of Pamela, please tell someone you love them, be kind to a stranger, or do something that makes you happy.